“I will find that special person who is wrong for me in just the right way.” – Andrew Boyd
I do not believe in soul mates.
I believe in people who love each other despite (because of?) their imperfections. I believe that love is a living being that changes as individuals change. Over time, maybe it grows, or maybe it wanes. Maybe it grows and wanes a little over the course of every day.
I believe in people who want to have the same disagreements over and over again. Maybe they do so with a sense of humor or lightness. Maybe they have passionate arguments followed by passionate makeups. Maybe they don’t talk for a day, then forget what they were mad about and go on with their lives like normal. Maybe these same disagreements exist for decades, because even though they can’t agree on some things, their love and affection outweighs their opinions. And if they really listen to each other, maybe they are able to learn from one another, broaden their perspectives. Maybe they start to bring out the best qualities in one another.
That, to me, is far more magical than soul mates.
Thanks to Professor John Gottman and his ideas, which provided much of the inspiration behind this post.
-Rebecca