What we can Learn about the Four F’s (Fight, Flight, Freeze and Fawn) from Steven Universe

Depiction of many of the characters from the show Steven Universe.

What is Steven Universe?

If you’ve clicked on this post, my guess is that you are familiar with Steven Universe, but just in case, here’s a little intro!

Steven Universe is a cartoon created by Rebecca Sugar, which began airing in 2013. It stars Steven Universe, a half human half gem, and his adventures in the sleepy town of Beach City, which happens to be home to tens of humans, as well as a handful of alien gems with superpowers.

Steven Universe is a show that weaves themes of queerness, gender, divergence, trauma, and healing through a world that blends reality and sci fi fantasy. Its themes are why it is one of my all-time favorite shows, and one I love to reference with interested therapy clients.

This blog article will have spoilers, so if you don’t want to be spoiled, go watch the show and return at a later time!

What are the Four F’s?

The four F’s are fight, flight, freeze, and fawn. Fight, flight, freeze and fawn are the four ways our bodyminds respond when we perceive immediate danger.

In the past, mental health experts referred to the four F’s as the four anxiety responses. However, it is becoming more common for mental health clinicians to refer to them as trauma responses. So, which is it? Well, the perceived causes of anxiety vs. trauma may be different, but the responses in the bodymind are the same, which is the focus of this post.

Here is a brief expansion on what each of the four F’s might mean.

  • Fight could mean to punch, kick, yell, scream, make yourself big, or otherwise attack.

  • Flight is to run or avoid. In modern times, this might look like overworking, overscheduling, and/or perfectionism.

  • Freeze is literally to ‘play dead,’ but it might also look like avoiding, shutting down, dissociating, or not getting out of bed.

  • To fawn is to charm, smooth over, make them laugh, people please.

Is it normal to go into fight / flight / freeze / fawn mode?

Actually, yes! It is NORMAL and HEALTHY for our bodyminds to go into fight, flight, freeze, or fawn mode. These responses help us survive life-threatening situations.

Consider, for instance, that you come across a bear in the woods. Not reacting at all could get you killed! But making yourself big (fight), running away (flight), playing dead (freeze), or offering the bear some honey (fawn) could help you survive.

BUT, with that being said, there are times when we go into a four F response in situations that aren’t truly life-threatening - like, for instance, when you get a “ping” signifying a message for your boss.

Now imagine getting that “ping” dozens of times a day, every day, for years, and going into one of the four F’s each time. That over reliance on the four F’s could cause a lot of additional suffering - physically, mentally and emotionally. Unfortunately, that’s a reality for many people. Change is possible, though - we’ll come back to that later!

Art with Koda depiction of the four diamonds

The Four Diamonds as the Four F’s

In Steven Universe, there are four Diamonds who rule over the gem world: Yellow, Blue, Pink, and White, with White being the ultimate ruler. The Diamonds were a family of sisters who fell apart due to their conflict and disagreements.

My interpretation is that each of the four Diamonds represents one of the Four F’s, in this case, one of the four trauma responses.

Fawn: Pink Diamond (aka Rose Quartz)

Pink Diamond

Pink Diamond herself rarely appears in the show. Rose Quartz, Steven’s mom and a major character in the show, was Pink Diamond, but took on her form as Rose Quartz so that she could mingle with humans and other gems.

Pink Diamond, Rose Quartz, and her son, the titular Steven Universe, had a number of characteristics of “Fawn” as identified by Pete Walker. All brought joy and harmony to those around them, and were excellent peacemakers, positive qualities of folks who often rely on the “Fawn” response.

That said, Pink, Rose, and Steven also shared some of the damaging characteristics of the Fawn response. At times, they were self-sacrificing to their own detriment. Pink Diamond sacrificed herself because it was the only way to have her half-gem, half-human son, Steven.

Rose, Pink and Steven also looked for approval from others who showed difficulty understanding them. In Pink Diamond’s case, she sought her sisters’ approval, despite knowing they had strict beliefs about what kind of life was proper for a Diamond to pursue.

Over the course of the show and the sequel, Steven Universe Future, Rose / Pink’s son Steven begins to understand and heal from these weaknesses by identifying and prioritizing his own needs as well as those of others.

Freeze: Blue Diamond

Blue Diamond

Blue Diamond seems to be paralyzed by the grief associated with the perceived death of her sister, Pink Diamond. That ‘stuckness’ in negative emotions is one way Freeze mode manifests. Freeze mode also shows up as apathy, couch potatoing, and fear of achievement.

I’ve chosen Blue Diamond as Freeze for another reason, too: Blue has a the power: to stop (“freeze”) gems in their tracks by making them cry.

Blue Diamond also seems to embody the positive aspects of Freeze, including peace, presence, and poise.

Of course, Blue does go into fight mode when her nephew Steven is a bit too honest with her. It’s common for people to have multiple employment of the four F’s depending on the situation.

Flight: Yellow Diamond

Yellow Diamond

Yellow Diamond embodies the Flight response. Yellow is determined to follow the rules and be the best. Driven to succeed. Yellow Diamond’s perseverance and industriousness are admirable; positive traits of many folks prone to Flight mode.

However, Yellow Diamond’s perfectionism also manifests as micromanaging, criticizing, and panicking when things don’t go well. These tendencies get in the way of her ability to connect with others, much to Blue’s disappointment.

Both Blue and Yellow are ultimately able to accept feedback from and listen to Steven Universe. And so does our final diamond, White Diamond, though it is by far the most difficult for her.

Fight: White Diamond

White Diamond

White Diamond embodies the narcissism, bullying and control that can occur in extreme Fight Mode folks. She is a truly terrifying autocrat.

To clarify: Not all those who gravitate towards fight mode are narcissists or bullies! This happens on the extreme end of Fight mode, and can be exacerbated by being placed in positions of power and enabled by others.

White Diamond is enabled by Blue and Yellow Diamond, as well as the hierarchical gem society. When threatened, White Diamond tries to kill Steven and the Crystal Gems. When she doesn’t succeed, she takes control of all of the gems and forces them to behave and talk exactly like her.

In the end, Steven Universe’s self-belief, self-love, and refusal to betray himself and his loved ones, has the power to stun and transform White Diamond, as well as the very fabric of the gem universe.

What a wonderful outcome! If only things were this straightforward in real life.

Healing from Over Reliance on the Four F’s

If you think you may be over reliant on one of the four F’s (fight, flight, freeze, or fawn), you are not alone! Healing is possible! Steven Universe healed through community, self-love, and self-exploration.

Practices that support healing from over reliance on trauma responses include…

  • Getting to know yourself and your preferences

  • Pursuing your passions, interests and hobbies

  • Nurturing your inner child

  • Caring for your physical health through exercise, nourishing food, taking medications, and having sensory experiences

  • Exploring your spirituality and connection to something greater

  • Standing up for yourself

  • Showing yourself compassion

  • Connecting with nature

  • Seeing a therapist

Pete Walker’s website has a wealth of information on healing from complex trauma.

If you’re interested in learning more about therapy with Rebecca, click the button below!


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Finding Hope when Things feel Hopeless